Category: Zone BBS Suggestions and Feedback
Hi all, this idea has been on my mind for a few days now. I think it might be fun to have a subboard in the dating and romance section, exclusively for sexual topics, just as the safe haven board has subcategories for religion and LGBT topics. This way, those who are not looking to talk about sex don't have to wory about accidently stumbling on it, while those who are only or primarily interested in the physical side of love can find any topic they want to discuss all in one place. What do people think?
I don't think that's necessary. dating and relationships, in my opinion, encompasses every aspect (what people aren't interested in, they can simply skip over).
Yes, dating and relationships can, and usually do incompass sex, but they don't have to. Likewise, some people are just looking for sex, without dating, a long-term relationship, or even romance. Even people in a LTR may just need advice or want opinions on something physical, without having to dig through pages and pages.
I personally think it's fine how it is. Every relationship...well, most relationships encumpase sex one way or another. nothing against you, Kathy, but just my thoughts.
I have to agree with others here. If this idea were to be implimented, then technically every board should have a subsection for every category within the category at large. I mean, just think how many different sub categories "Let's Talk" would have to have? or "animal House", or "Jam Session" for the various types of music. these are just a few examples.
I definately see where you're coming from Kathy. It's a good suggestion, one which would better organize things. It would be nice not to stumble on some inappropriate topics when searching for something else. That said I'm afraid Ocean Dream might be right here. Ask for that and it creates a whole list of subsections for other catagories. While I for one would LOVE to see that, (something like the writer's block really needs one in my oppinion) I think it would create a great deal of hastle to catagorize previous topics into subsections. Other sites do that, and do it well. But I'm not sure it would work here.
I agree with ocean dream. There are already a large number of categories on the boards, and if one category gets subsections, then other people might want more subsections for other categories, and like ocean dream said, the possibilities are endless, and in my opinion, rediculous.
As for people who want to just talk about sex, go to the sex addicts topic under the graffiti boards.
To Libra Lady and OceanDream, do you think that the subcategories in the Safe Haven board are out of place as well?
As for resorting old threads, I'm not sure how that's usually done, but what I've seen here and various places suggests that the old threads stay where they are. It's just any future ones that are written in the new section. Or maybe just some of the more recent and obvious ones are resorted. Either way, it needn't be such a daunting task as going through them all.
I agree with you Kathy. A lot of people don't link relationships and sex so why should we? I certainly think there should be a sub-category; afterall, as mentioned, there is in Safe Haven.
to put it bluntly, if you don't want to see particular types of topics, I would just steer clear of those types of topic titles. I don't think someone is going to start a topic about the freakiness of sex and call it something like, "A Sweet Surprise for You", or something like that. chances are, it's going to have sex, or other variations there of, in the title.
as for the "Safe Haven" subsections, I believe the only reason they exist is because Safe Haven itself can be about anything, about any topic that you could theoretically start anywhere else on the boards, the only difference, of course, being that it needs to be family friendly. I'm sure the staff thought it appropriate that the subsections that people would most likely get flack for posting anywhere else be included there. Otherwise, why don't you think they included others in "Safe haven" as well?
Ocean, no, a few sex topics have pretty vague titles.
such as? I would love to see an example.
Then there's sex topics whose vulgar names are right out there for all the world to see ... whether they want to or not.
Ocean, don't get smart, I wasn't nasty to you sheesh!
I am not going to bother myself with going through just to find an example, maybe you should read the titles of the long board yourself if you so want a specific example and don't believe us.
wow. defensive much? that's a sure sign you can't back up your points.
Well it so happens I did gotthrough at least a fair part of it. True, I could only find one such example. 30 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew. To really find more examples would require not only skimming through and reading the names of all the threads, but reading every single word of every single post. And then as the Blind Guardian said, there're explicitly sexual titles that can be offensive to read for those not interested. If they had there own section, they wouldn't have to be seen at all.
But really Ocean, if your first comment wasn't nasty, then your last one certainly was!
or, those who get offended at the mention of sex could learn to grow a thicker skin, realizing that the world won't, at large, be censored in other aspects of life.
Off-ended = just another form of wellfare weenie ... or entitlement mentality ... whichever you prefer.
I can't expect the world to print things in a way so I can always read them, so why should anybody else expect the world to change the way it does things just to suit the preferences or belief system?
Weenie is as weenie does.
Why don't we talk about LGBT subjects in the general Safe Haven board then? Or put up personal adds in the dating and relationships board. I understand that's the way it used to be done. I appreciate why it was changed, to better specialize and maybe, just maybe avoid rubbing people the wrong way, but after all who really cares about those people? I can see a lot of people here certainly don't.
Honestly it isn't that people don't 'care about those people,' in this case the 'those people' being the easily offended.
The problem you'll find is, the harder you work to appease the easily offended, the more they will get offended. A whole industry is dedicated to this: it's called Human Resources. It's sad but true: your common courtesy and politeness is not shared by the easily offended. While you, or I, may choose to look in another direction away from something we feel is distasteful, there are people who imagine they can win prizes for making the biggest ruckus about the most material they find offensive.
Call me old-school, but to my thinking, prizes are won by those who build things and innovate solutions, not cry crocodile tears. In the last ten years, I've done a complete 180 on this issue precisely because for all the work I see peple tirelessly doing to appease the offended, they just find new ways to be offended. It's like bailing out a boat with a sieve in the middle of a downpour!
I don't go out of my way to offend people, but I scarce make the effort I used to anymore. Who's gonna play at something you'll never win at? If that makes me a pig, well, * oink oink, root root *
well said, Leo; I share your point of view completely.
Leo's right. People these dayrs are too easily offended. OSome I think even look for reasons to be indignant. But there's also something to be said for social ediquet. Having blatently sexual phrases or titles on topic titles is just in poor taste. We should be slow to be offended it's true, but likewise should be Curteous of other's. Like with everything else in life, it's a matter of balance - of give and take. This isn't an adults-only site. This is a place for all ages. I'm not saying explicit topics shouldn't exist, but I do think people should be mindful of topic titles.
Ocean, I'm not defensive, I'm questioning your attitude towards people. I told you, cathy told you we can back up what we're saying but we're not going to sift through the boards just for you; perhaps unlike you, we have a life outside of the zone?!
Oh I'd say there's a balance, sure. I just have not seen the offended types give at all. It's the rest of us. Not on this topic really either. I tend not to read explicit topics on here but still. The easily-offended are generally so one-sided they can't see to compromise, or adapt themselves, or just move on, the way the rest of us do.
Generally, one cannot make a statement along the lines of "oh, there are lots of topics with innocent looking titles but sexually explicit content", and then, when asked to back that statement up, they get all offended.
I am not on anyone's side, but one can't go make big statements and then act all defensive when asked to back them up.
If it is so hard to find a single example of this, it probably proves there is little to worry about.
And, besides, these are living topics that people post in.
Pen & Teller's Bullshit Show (sorry for bad language), made experiments, where they had people sort trash in 20 different ways, just to see how far they would go. They got tired of it pretty quickly, let me tell you.
Fact is, once there are too many subsections to post in, people either will give up posting or they will not utilize the intended subsections.
CLs on here are few and busy with other stuff, and assigning them policing duties on all topics, and ensuring that topic material does not steer away from its perceived subject and "spirit", or at least vocabulary, is to ask the impossible.
There is an age limit on here, there is the "safe haven" board, where people could start a dating and relationship subsection to deal with strictly platonic, or romantic, non-sexual aspects of relationships.
Since it is so hard to find examples of topics that are out of bounce, I have to assume we don't have a problem here.
Also you guys seem to be indicating that on the one hand subjects should not have rude or overly explicit language in them, and on the other hand that if a subject is non-vulgar the rest of the board should follow that guidance.
That leaves me with no choice but to conclude that any vulgar topics are effectively banned on here.
I like all of y'all, so no one take this personally, I criticize opinions, not people, or I strive to anyway, no one is perfect, I am far from it, but this just is not a good idea, anyway I look at it, in my opinion.
platonic cheers.
I'm not looking to bann any type of conversation, and I don't know if policing would be the best way to put it. Also, I'm not of the easily offended type, but I thought I'd try to show this thing from both points of view, as I feel it could benefit both the easily offended and the not easily offended.
And admittedly there were not as many sexual topics with innocent titles as I thought, but I honestly did, and still do, think I saw some in the past. There's also, as someone pointed out, topics with titles so distasteful as to turn some peoples' stomachs. Again, I'm not saying these topics shouldn't exist, people should be able to talk about whatever they want, but rough sex is usually different from romance, so I think that should be reflected.
To be honest, when I first joined I thought it a bit odd that Safe Haven was the only board to have subsections, and not just one but two at that! I know that's probably neither here nor there at this point; just found it interesting to mention. But I do still say if that one can, why not other boards?
Thank you Wildebrew for your consideration, and RdFreak for coming to my defense.
Hey
It is definitely an interesting thought.
I just don't see it practical, from my personal perspective, and I don't see the need as a user.
But neither would I be insulted or hurt in any way if the site decided to create more sections and subsections.
One could certainly establish a rule of language in topic subject lines, should be easy enough for a CL to check over without it being too much work.
I see no reason not to do that, though personally I don't feel that need either.
May be we can take that idea out of this conversation at least.
I will say this again for the record: I was not offended. I was merely pointing out that just because we're got a life, I for one am not going to sift through finding examples.
I've been on this site for a long time and I've seen what's gone down. OK, you guys maybe really the blind )pardon the pun because you probably are) but see the recent topic called 'fucking"? yeh, nuf said on this topic.
sheesh and people may wonder why I had suchy a break from the boards; some nasty, nasty people post to them.
Merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Sorry, still don't buy that you can make a statement about something, and when asked if you can back it up you point out to people that you have a life. Try that on an exam.
If you want to make a statement, give yourself the time to back it up when asked to, whether you have a life or not.
If you are willing to log in and make a statement, then you should also be willing to defend it, or to admit that you are not sure. Indicating to people that you have a life, and they probably don't, won't sell your argument.
End of my rambling on this btw, won't post back, because I like you, and others who have posted to this board, and really have no wish to disagree with anyone or create any sort of misgiving .. but this technique just really gets me, and I had to comment onit.
Wildebrew, I think I agree with you generally.
However, in post 25 you said, "Since it is so hard to find examples of topics that are out of bounce," Actually, I'm pretty sure I saw several topics on the boards that were out of bounce, but I can't think of them right now so just take my word for it, they, exist.
Bob